I promised myself two weeks ago that I would not write anything about Dallas Braden, but after yesterday’s perfect game reaction, I really couldn’t pass it up. All of this stuff is just way too funny. For anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, when the Yankees were playing the Athletics in April, Alex Rodriguez ran over ‘Dallas Braden’s mound’ when going back to the dugout at the end of an inning. After that, a bunch of chaos and non-sense ensued (explained below). On Sunday afternoon, Braden threw a perfect game and his grandmother took a shot at A-Rod. Here is a run down of the funniest moments and why Dallas Braden really means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Shoo, Dallas. Photo Credit: New York Times

#1: No one has ever heard of this rule??: Many different players, coaches, and managers have been asked about this rule. To my knowledge, no one has ever heard of it. It’d be one thing if A-Rod ran over the mound after grounding out to make the first out of an inning, but no, this was at the end of an inning. The teams were switching in between innings. Technically, it was no longer ‘Dallas Braden’s mound’. It was CC Sabathia’s mound.

So What Ensued After A-Rod Successfully Ran Over The Mound? Braden Yelling? Kicking over cups in the dugout? Slamming his glove? Screaming 2-0-9 over and over and over?

I’ve watched a lot of baseball games and I’ve seen Paul O’Neill bash a lot of water coolers in my day. O’Neill was a perfectionist and was always pissed off with himself, but for someone to do this because of another player? For something so petty? I’ve never seen it. Give. Me. A. Break. But this wasn’t the end….

#2: Braden further embarrasses himself by talking to an Oakland affiliate Comcast reporter?: If the tirade on the field wasn’t enough, Braden decided to bring this situation up again, two weeks later. Earlier this week, Braden spoke with a reporter and served up this doosie of a quote, if this situation were to ever happen again with Rodriguez:

obviously there’s things that are going to have to happen — just out of respect for my teammates, out of respect for the game.  I think he’s probably garnered a new respect for the unwritten rules, and people who hold them close to their game.  But yeah I think you’re right — we don’t do much talking in the 209.

This quote did not sit well with some of the most prominent Yankees and I found the quote by CC Sabathia to be the funniest:

“He’s a clown,” CC Sabathia said of Braden. “Guy says he’s from the 209, what the [bleep] is that? That’s where I’m from and I don’t know what he’s talking about. Two-oh-nine. He needs to just calm down – put that in the paper. That’s just tired.”

For someone who proclaims that there isn’t much talking in the ‘209’, he certainly has a lot to say.

#3 His Grandmother Is Getting Involved?: Earlier in the week, A’s General Manager, Billy Beane was asked about the situation. He said that he had handled the situation with ‘the player’. Sounds Bill Parcel-ish. Apparently, Beane did not talk Braden’s grandmother. After the game, Braden’s grandmother was asked about the game and she offered this quote:

“Let’s forget it, uh huh — and stick it, A-Rod,” said a chuckling Peggy Lindsey, who was in the stands watching.

Now, let’s rewind for a second. Dallas Braden’s mother tragically died while he was in high school. Instead of talking about Braden’s courage, their strong bond, how special it was for it to happen on Mother’s Day or how proud of her grandson she was, Granny decided to take a public shot at A-Rod. It’d be one thing if he threw a perfect game against the Yankees, but it’s another to take a shot at someone who is 3,000 miles away.

I’m all for the sentimental sports story. I think they’re great, however, they become tarnished when someone brings up something stupid. Give. Me. A. Break.

Focus on your grandson’s immortal achievement. Don’t focus on a situation where he clearly was in the wrong.

Finally, I want to give Alex some credit. The old A-Rod would have started firing back at Braden, but he decided to take the high road in this situation. He offered this quote after being told Braden threw a perfect game today:

“I’ve learned in my career that it’s always better to be remembered for some of the good things you do on the field — and good for him,” Rodriguez told reporters before playing the Red Sox. “He threw a perfect game. And, even better, he beat the Rays.”

Bling, Bling; REUTERS

Lastly,  I don’t think we should give this kid anymore air time. He’ll get his headlines again when the Yankees-A’s square off again on July 5th. I’m sure that Braden and the A’s will be warned not to start any funny business with the Yankees. It’d also be stupid for 6’1 184 pound Braden to tangle with the 6’4 230 lb gym rat. Knowing Billy Beane and his desire to run a first-rate organization, I wouldn’t be surprised if they cut Braden if he decided to keep up the shenanigans.

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